twlboaj:

on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents

(via snybor)

Over the years we’ve had a variety of odd pairs

nothenks:

little-cyes-2:

We have a frog and a pig

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a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman

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a donkey and a dragon

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a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn

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these two

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and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub

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But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie

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I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken

(via pcapaldiing)

"

What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Asshole Best Friend Says, “Hey, Never Trust Anything That Bleeds For Seven Days And Doesn’t Die,
Right?”
OR The Only Poem I’ll Ever Write About Periods.

Don’t excuse him because he’s had
at least three lite beers
and is sweating through his black button down
that his mom or exgirlfriend
probably bought him.
Don’t excuse him because he’s been turned down
by the last six girls he went on dates with
after meeting them on tindr
with a picture that’s seven years old
Don’t excuse him because
he’s usually such a nice guy
because you don’t want to be a bitch
because you don’t want to cause a scene
because when you were seventeen
your sister told you
no one likes an angry feminist

Tell him,
Hey, Asshole:
Let me explain something to you.
Every goddamn motherfucking month since I was eleven,
a part of me
tore itself to shreds
ripped itself apart inside me
and then remade itself.

So yes, I bleed for seven days
and I don’t die
You know what else can do that?
Gods.
Immortal beings.
Things of legend.
Fuck, I can even
create life.

So I say, never trust anything that can’t
bleed for seven days and not die.
You know what that makes it?
Weak
Fallible
Mortal.
So let’s see, hon,
What you’re made of.
If you can bleed for seven days
and not die.

Rip out his jugular with your teeth.
And when he bleeds for seven seconds
and dies,
spit on his corpse and say,
I thought not.

"
– Katherine Tucker (via fuckyeahexistentialism)

(via thegreatgatsbabe)


Meeting Ariana Grande, Then and Now.

littlecatlady:

heliolisk:

etherealpussy:

jackanthonyfernandez:

omg this is messy as fuck

they came with receipts too
she better pray this doesn’t reach any gossip sites

absolutely pathetic

jeeeesus christ

(via kearabaggins)

jimdoesntcarrey:

HOW WAS SPY KIDS 3 A MOVIE

dilapidatedragamuffin:

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

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THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

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Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

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who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly

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THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE

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WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES

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ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP

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ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE

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Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression

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Then we get Antonio Benderez doing this?

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AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE image

AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON

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HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???